Should I Be Inspired?

I don't know what American Idol considers inspirational, but moderately entertaining karaoke performances qualify for this evening's inspirational week.

To be honest, I'm just glad I have to only break down 7 performances instead of more, because I'm getting tired of this year's lack of talent, and I grow weary of having to write about Siobhan and Aaron and Casey and Tim, all of whom bring the same thing to the show, week after week after week.

First of all, never, ever take on Whitney Houston. I don't care if your Whitney's sister, or her vocal coach. Whitney is in a class all by herself, and when you take on a song she has sung, you're bound to pale in comparison. That's exactly what happened to Siobhan tonight. By the key change, she had already went bombs away on a song that, to be done with justice, has to be sung by someone who understands its meaning. When Siobhan started talking after the song was done, I think all of the producers as well as Ryan Secrest went "oh dear God. She's talking. Who let her talk?!? WHO LET HER TALK?!? Why are there such ridiculous pauses between words? WHAT IS THIS?!?" Siobhan makes a good example of what everyone is this season falls short of: being believable. I don't believe she's a dynamite, pack the house and stop what you're doing because she's performing type of singer.

Same goes for Mr. Roboto, who apparently was working with the same double A batteries that were put in him last week. Move left, look right, back away from the mic, play a guitar solo, come back to the mic, smile while it looks like leg hairs are being pulled from you, back look straight ahead at the camera, smile, back away for another guitar solo without feeling, and finish by making a big motion for the band to stop with you. Casey hasn't shown creativity, spark, personality, or emotion beyond a fake smile here and there and embarrassment over Kara. I'm so sick of seeing him do the same thing every week.

Aaron Kelly got back to familiar ways with a ballad, and the same hip motions, hand motions and eyes closed maneuvers that make it look like he's a blind 8th grade boy trying to pet a horse for the first time. It's just uncomfortable, and you really want to help him out by showing him how he looks. But you can't, because he's blind. Not only that, but singing an R Kelly song that's been sung by every bad, drunk singer in a bar on a Friday night was a mistake. And it reminds me of Space Jam. And Michael Jordan. And six Bulls championships. Oh, if only the Cubs didn't suck so much right now...

Big Mike sang a song he shouldn't have sung. Lee is the only one from this season that should have attempted that song, and with Big Mike singing it, it lost its grit. It lost the feeling. That song is not meant to be sung by a pretty, R&B voice like Mike's. Not unless you change up the arrangement, which Mike didn't do. If he had infused it with his own rhythm and style, it might have been different. Stripped it down, simplified it, and really let the words shine through. Instead, he tried to do a carbon copy of Kroger's, and it fell flat, because he wasn't able to put the same raw emotion into it. We got a staged, musical version of a song that deserved better.

Turban reminded everyone why he's the VFTW guy tonight. He attempted a song by a singer who would sing circles around him. Okay, okay...every original singer of each of these songs could sing circles around all the contestants. But still, Tim Urban was especially bad. He still has no emotion, no connection with the words, and honestly bored me 15 seconds into the song. Not one judge mentioned the fact that he couldn't find his notes for most of the song, and when he did, they fell flat and leveled off. Tim will still be around another week, because...well, what else would we expect from this season?

Lee was phenomenal. He took the Simon and Garfunkel song, slowed it down a little bit, and added his own little flair to it. Lee wasn't much different than other weeks, in that he played the guitar and had the familiar gruff, but in this season, that's more than anyone else can offer. The same for Lee is good, because his same is better than everyone else's same. I loved the choice of "The Boxer", because it showcased Lee as someone who can do Simon and Garfunkel, and not have to do it exactly like S&G did it.

Crystal, while not playing her guitar tonight, still didn't do much. The guitar limits you to the mic stand and to one place, and so without her guitar, I thought maybe she might move around a little. Turns out, didn't matter if she had her guitar or not. She didn't move from that mic stand, instead holding the mic the whole time, or standing very, very close to it. To criticize her stage presence is really the only thing left to criticize, because she's so much more vocally talented, and emotionally invested in her songs than anyone else. The judges pounced on the tears factor, saying she was the most inspirational of the whole night, and I guess I agree. Tears will always get the sympathy symphony going. In the end, Crystal did do the best job of conveying why it was inspirational songs night, as she felt it more than anyone else.

So there it is. Tonight's breakdown. I'm hoping Lee and Crystal end up being the final two, as they've been the most consistent in bringing interesting and praiseworthy performances each week. The rest, it's just trimming the fat till we get to them.

Tonight's Rankings: 1. Lee. 2. Crystal. 3-7: Tim, Aaron, Casey, Siobhan, Big Mike, in no particular order. They all just kind of mush together.

Tomorrow night's bottom 3: Big Mike, Aaron, and Turban. Going home: Big Mike. Who should go home: Doesn't matter. Any of those bottom 4 from tonight should go home. The only 2 that shouldn't go home till the finale is Lee and Crystal. The rest, get rid of 'em!

Whaddaya think?

Lennon, McCartney, and You

I have a growing dissatisfaction with TV lately. I find myself bored by plot lines, inundated with advertisements for new shows that get canceled quickly, and in general unhappy with what is being called "entertainment" these days. If not for "The Pacific", "Dexter", and "Amazing Race", I would be just fine without TV.

Don't get me wrong about a lot of shows. I enjoy the entire NBC Thursday comedy lineup, as well as Survivor and Justified and what not. But increasingly, I just find myself ready for things to come to an end, so I can move on with my life and not have to endure another week of the same old crap.

This is similar to the way I feel about American Idol this season. Week after week, we are treated the same old same old as each contestant gets up there and gives us exactly what we got the week before.

Aaron Kelly, how many ballads can you sing? Will you ever find a song you can stay in tune for? Do you have a creative bone in your body to infuse a song with a new and fresh arrangement? Long Winding Road left me wishing I'd exited sooner.

Katie Stevens offered a nice change from her usual crappy versions of songs she does. She demonstrated that she yet has some vocal talent. But in the same breath, she did the same song Brooke White did a few seasons back, only with less feeling and talent. Maybe this is the problem with American Idol. With a limited songbook to choose from, they end up repeating songs that someone else already knocked out the box.

Andrew Garcia, your playing the acoustic guitar for "Can't Buy Me Love" was pointless. We couldn't hear it, and it hindered your ability to have fun with the song. You stuck in the same range for the whole song, didn't vocally jump around, and killed whatever energy was produced by the arrangement. You had so much potential! Now, you will find yourself on the outside looking in.

Big Mike is a star. He's a cheese. He's perfect for Broadway. He's perfect for American Idol. Everyone complains about the cheesiness, but, let's be honest, American Idol is all about cheesiness. He took a different spin on "Eleanor Rigby" with an R&B feel, and it was pretty cool. But in the end, I wonder if the lyrics were lost a bit with the big arrangement. This is, after all, called one of the saddest songs of all time, and Mike made it into show tune.

Even Crystal Bowersox I am starting to lose some patience with. She's by far the most talented of the whole crew, but week after week, she brings the same vocals to every song. We know she's going to throw in her "yeahs" and her twangy, soulful, deep throated voice into every song. In the end though, I wonder if she really feels like she wants to be on this show, and if instead, she'd rather be back in Chicago, playing at bars and entertaining crowds of hundreds instead of thousands. Because eventually, I want the winner of this show to become a chameleon, capable of captivating a crowd, no matter what song it is. Crystal is a one trick pony. The trick is a good trick, but eventually, it will leave me wanting more.

Turban...did well. I mean, it's the best he's done. He's still a joke, but he actually didn't do as bad as he did in previous weeks. Finally he found a song that didn't challenge him very much, and he proved he could rise up to that.

Casey picked the right song for his voice, finished fantastic, and showed a bit more chops this week. Unfortunately, he's not convinced he's having a good time, or that he enjoys the national spotlight. Week after week, he stays behind the guitar, unwilling to engage the audience or move even a little bit, demonstrating all the physicality of a robot. I'm pretty sure we could get a robot on stage that looked like Casey James and no one would know the difference each week.

Siobhan, man she's weird. Man. I just don't get her. I used to believe she had the vocal chops to be this season's strongest voice, but now I just don't know. When she's not screaming, she's sharp. She has a very timid voice. When she's not throwing vibrato on the end of a phrase, she's pitchy throughout. If she gave herself more air when she has to go into her higher range, maybe she wouldn't be out of tune.

And Lee...bagpipes? Really? I just didn't get this one. Everyone seemed to love it, but I thought it was a train wreck. He started flat, threw in some weird vocal inflections, and turned it into a karaoke sing by shouting "come on everybody!" That was just weird. He's supposedly a star, but he doesn't act like one, perform like one, or feel like one. However, in this crappy season, he'll go far, because he's better than the rest.

Last night's Idol Rankings: 1. Katie. 2. Casey. 3. Crystal. 4. Big Mike. 5. Turban. 6. Lee. 7. Andrew. 8. Siobhan. 9. Aaron

Tonight's Bottom Three: Andrew, Tim and Katie (shouldn't be her, but based on the way voting is going, she's going to be there).

Bottom Three should be as I listed them.